Because it's not exactly a crisis, yet. Or maybe it is.
Once upon a time, at a bible study long long ago, the subject of babies came up, as it usually will when various women of various ages come together. I think I mentioned that I was on the Pill, and someone asked if I believed that God had a Plan for me, and did I trust that it was better than mine. Then, she dared me to prove it. And my journey to CSPP began, though I didn't know what it was called at the time.
Fast Forward 5-ish years, 3 pregnancies, one miscarriage, and two bouncing babies later. My husband is concerned about what might happen in a few months when my cycles return. We have a financial plan - and it requires us cutting the household budget and funding a debt snowball by having me work full time for another couple of years. On his income, we can pay the necessities (house payment, utilities, food, etc) but not the medical bills, car payments, and other debt that we worked so hard at racking up until a few years ago. After a couple of years of working this plan (slowed considerably by our new and improved double daycare bill), I can stay home with the current two babies and whatever other ones come after that...
It seems that the "responsible" thing to do would involve a visit to the friendly neighborhood OB and thumbing our collective noses at God and his divine plan.
I feel torn between being a good, obedient, trusting child of God and a good, faithful, submissive wife to my husband.
(sigh) Pray for us, because we are poor, miserable sinners. Scum, actually.
7 comments:
I have no advice for you, as this is an extremely personal decision, but I will pray for you. No one ever talked to me about this when I was having kids. I also had a husband who likely would not have agreed at all to allow God to decide how many kids we would have. (I'm lucky I even got 2.)Yes, you are a sinner, but you are also forgiven and a very loved child of God. God will guide you in your decision, and will provide for all your needs. I pray for you for the peace that passes understanding.
It is also tre that God gave a number of people the talent and curiosity and persistence to understand a lot about how hormones work. The Pill would not exist without those people using their God-given gifts.
Just like I cannot tell you that it is God's plan for you and your husband to use the Pill, don't let someone else tell you that the only way to trust God is to ignore one particular part of His creation. There is not necessarily any conflict between trusting God and using the Pill or any other form of family planning.
Chip, I love you.
The most freeing feeling that I have ever felt was when Wes and I made the decision to hand our family planning over to God. I fully believe that He opens and closes the womb. He spent 3 years showing me - when we timed things "right" every. single. month. and still didn't get pregnant. That would be my NFP non-honors diploma. I'm not actually comfortable with the thought of ANY hormonal birth control (for myself, in my marriage - any other adult can make whatever decision they want).
I absolutely feel that there IS a conflict between fully trusting God and using the Pill or other types of family planning.
This particular pill (haha) was much a much easier one to swallow when we were 30 and and having trouble getting pregnant/staying pregnant than it is at 33 knowing that I've gotten pregnant during every cycle that I've had in the last three years.
Oh, girl, I just published an article about this in MO Lutherans for Life! I talked about how "responsible" we were, and how we felt we were well within the realm of Chrisian freedom to tell God which blessings to bestow and which to withhold. Whether you're using an abortifacient or a condom or NFP, the message to the Author of Life is the same: A baby would not be a blessing right now. (Remember Pr. Curtis's post back in April? yeah--I'm not addressing hard cases either.)
I empathize with the financial struggles, as my husband was in seminary when our first was born. All of his part-time jobs amounted to about $20k. I was on Medicaid for the pregnancy, and we ate a lot of Ramen noodles and bananas. Very little entertainment, eating out, or electronic luxuries. And you know what? Those are some really fond memories.
P.S: It gives me great comfort to remember that He already knows. He already knows if I'm going to be bankrupt in 5 years, or cancer-ridden, or divorced or widowed. He already knows if I'm going to have a nervous breakdown or die in childbirth. And yet, as you and I know too well, life only comes from His hand. ((hugs))
Joy - I <3 you, too. Thanks.
the husband knows and recognises my reluctance and the whys behind it. I have a prescription for the mini-pill, and he is responsible for going to get it filled. So far, he hasn't.
Pray for us. Pray hard.
in case you're still reading this, we've come to a better compromise than the mini-pill.
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