And Another Thing!

Also alternatively titled:  ILoveMyJobILoveMyJob

BG:  I've been training to be back up for someone else's position, which includes learning the ins and outs of a bajillion reports.  The first two gems came from the girl training me - and keep in mind, she's responsible for single-handedly compiling and generating stacks of reports with flawless accuracy.  The third came from my indirect boss, who is supposed to be responsible for making sure that I don't get overloaded.

#1:
Her:  Team #1 always has more revenue because there are like 10 times as many of them.
Me:  Actually, it looks like there are 15 on Team #1 and 10 on Team #2.  So it would be like 30% more... haha.
Her:  Yeah, well, same difference.
Me: ...

#2:  (In the Method of Procedure that she wrote for me to use as a guide while she's on vacation for the next two weeks)
"XXX never happens.  But if it does, PERSON A will send you an email and will help you to correct it in DATABASE B.  She should remember how, since she fixed it both times it happened last year."

#3: 
Indirect Boss:  We have these files that were saved incorrectly and I need you to fix them.  It'll only take a minute.
Me:  Great, how many are ther?
IB:  I think there are about 100.
Me:  That sounds pretty time intensive, where will it fall on the priority list?
IB:  I fixed 3 of them and it took less than 10 minutes.  Do you think you can have them done by the end of today?
Me:  ... It's 4:15
IB:  I know.